Today was my dad's second chemo treatment. Thankfully last week was very uneventful. He was at the hospital for about 8 hours and he was very tired that day, but he had no side effects at all. Today was a much shorter day for him, and the nurses assured him that he probably won't notice many side effects this week either.
So phew...for now. Thanks everyone for your kind words, it means alot.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
First Day Jitters
Tomorrow my dad starts chemotherapy.
This is the part where I get really scared. I can't even imagine how my dad must feel. I will not be going with him tomorrow, in fact he is going up alone. My brother will pick him up and drive him home, but the nurse has explained to us that it is an all day process and he does not necessarily need someone by his side for the entire eight hours. I feel guilty for not being there, but in all honesty I don't know if I could handle it. Normally, I am the "strong" one, I have never let my dad see me upset since the diagnosis. I always try to reassure and explain things to him when he seems sad or unsure. But Chemo scares the crap out of me and I don't know if I can handle this part. I feel like I will fall apart seeing him hooked up to the bag of poison. I feel like I will fall apart seeing him sick and hurting from the side effects. I'm probably going to fall apart soon anyway but I'd rather it not be in front of the guy who is already struggling to be brave.
I'm waiting for someone to swoop in and just take over from here on out so I can be the kid again. Anybody?
This is the part where I get really scared. I can't even imagine how my dad must feel. I will not be going with him tomorrow, in fact he is going up alone. My brother will pick him up and drive him home, but the nurse has explained to us that it is an all day process and he does not necessarily need someone by his side for the entire eight hours. I feel guilty for not being there, but in all honesty I don't know if I could handle it. Normally, I am the "strong" one, I have never let my dad see me upset since the diagnosis. I always try to reassure and explain things to him when he seems sad or unsure. But Chemo scares the crap out of me and I don't know if I can handle this part. I feel like I will fall apart seeing him hooked up to the bag of poison. I feel like I will fall apart seeing him sick and hurting from the side effects. I'm probably going to fall apart soon anyway but I'd rather it not be in front of the guy who is already struggling to be brave.
I'm waiting for someone to swoop in and just take over from here on out so I can be the kid again. Anybody?
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